THE ART OF LOSING - Philosophies of a rainy Sunday

"The art of losing is not a mistery

so many things contains in itself

the accident of losing them,

that losing is not anything serious.

Lose a little every day. "

Elizabeth Bishop

I have watched a few movies (very good) in the past few days about people's experiences with degenerative neurological diseases such as multiple sclerosis - Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis - and I realized that we all have one thing in common: we do not want to get lost in the disease.

Either a person diagnosed when still young, like me, or who ever lived long and great years of life when received confirmation of the disease, the feeling of fear of losing the fight is the same.

And this struggle is daily, there are days that we not even remember that we are in a war with ourselves, but there are days that we feel like we give up, raising the white flag and starting retreating. And it is precisely in these days we get lost, that our worst fears are confirmed, because no matter how optimistic you are, or want to be, in those moments we cease to be what we are and become our illness.

Fear is paralyzing, and perhaps the fear of losing is the worst of fears. We are afraid of losing someone we love, what we have and ultimately who we are. Fear is the first disabling symptom that a chronic sufferer feels when diagnosed. And because of it we forget that the secret is to live in the moment, without anticipating the future, or resent the past.

Note that at any time I'll say: lost to disease or lose the fight. It's because when it comes to a chronic disease, we are already losing. It would be very unfair to want to fight to win at the end. It's not that I'm losing my optimism or getting lost in the disease, however, this is unfortunately our reality ... there is still no cure.

However, it is certain that, even if we lose ourselves, we will get to meet many people along the way. Our different behavior changes the perception that others have of us and our perception of ourselves.

We may not really win the war, the disease wins, but we'll win many battles, and each will have it's unique taste of victory.

We, chronic and degenerative neurological patients (sometimes scary!), can not tell the future, but we can keep fighting, fighting because we are alive and have a lot to lose still and certainly much to gain!!!

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